So, you’ve already found the dating site you want to use. You’ve taken your time, read a few articles and think you have a pretty good profile. Now you begin your search to look for that person of your dreams. It should be so easy now, right? Well, I wouldn’t go that far. You have to remember that the person you’re contacting has most likely been contacted before, especially if he or she is a long-time and/or an attractive person. This is why the online dating first email is such an important step in breaking the ice.
You might not think too much about it, but an online dating first email is probably the hardest thing you’ll do when using a dating site. No, I don’t mean hard as in actual “work.” Think of it more as a test. When contemplating what to write in an online dating first email, it should be all about the person you’re sending it to – that’s first and foremost. For example: the person you’re sending the online dating first email to has an affinity for Chinese food and Lil Wayne. Do you have something in common here?
It’s better to be non-specific in this area. You may think a great way to open is to say “Wow, I love Chinese food and Lil Wayne, too,” but this comes across like you’re trying too hard. In your online dating first email, you should hint to having the same interests, without appearing agreeable. Like: “I like your interests; we have a lot in common.” See the difference? It’s the subtleties like these that either make or break your chances in your online dating first email.
Another thing to remember about an online dating first email is that it needs to be an informal introduction, not a novel! So many people write 3, 4, even 500-word emails to their targeted mate. Needless to say, this is far too long if you’re looking for effectiveness. Your online dating first email should be short, sweet, and to the point. Also, you want to make the email conversational. This means no “lol,” “W/E,” “ttfn,” or other forms of Inter-slang. At the same time, you don’t want to get overly wordy. Keep it informal and well-written.
In your online dating first email, I know you’re just itching to scream out, “You’re so hot!” Well, don’t do this… seriously. This is especially true for guys writing an online dating first email to a girl. You don’t need to compliment her looks at all. To the contrary – even if looks are what drew you in to her page – comment on her profile, likes and dislikes, etc, but never on physical appearance.
Read over the person’s profile before sending the online dating first email. If he/she already answers a question in their profile, be sure not to ask it again. In fact, try to avoid asking anything. Simply let them know you’re interested. Remember to keep it short, sweet, non-intrusive, professional, and simple. Follow these steps and this email could be the first of many.